December 20, 2012 Martina

What type of mommy am I?

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I am not your typical mommy. I don’t know how to act like I have it all together or try to impress people with ways that I raise my children. I am a Stay at Home Mom who gets frustrated, moody, and happy all in a matter of 5 mins. Society makes women believe that we have to have it all together but in all honesty we are human and things aren’t always going to be perfect.

I enjoy my kids and I love them with every thing in me but kids are a handful  well maybe my kids because I know some of you have it all together  and they can wear you out and bring on complete exhaustion. My sweet bowlegged 1 year old Mallorie is into EVERYTHING and she loves her mommy. She is one clingy baby and she won’t let me out of her sight. It is so emotionally draining when you have a clingy baby grabbing on you “ALL” day and crying when you leave her sight. It’s emotionally tiring and exhausting.

Sometimes throughout the day I think to myself “Am I suppose to be a SAHM?”….. Crazy thing is sometimes I feel like I am and sometimes I feel like I should be doing something else but daycare is $250 a week and aint nobody got time for that… LOL….

There are days when I feel like this wonderful supermom and then there are days when I feel like I going to lose my mind. And Mommies if you ever have those feelings IT’S OK!!!! I had to except that it is ok to feel that way. Being home with 1+ child all day, I mean literally all day, is very exhausting. I have found different hobbies to at least feel like I’m doing something with my life because if I don’t have something to bring me back to reality when I’m having a moody mommy day, I probably would go in a closet and cry.

Let me be clear, I LOVE and ADORE my blessings from God but I have those days where I’m like this couldn’t be the life I thought I was going to have. HA! I mean you think you’re going to go to college and finish (for those of us who didn’t) meet this amazing man, get married, have beautiful obedient kids, and live this amazing beautiful life and its going to be this fairytale! Ummmmm- NOT! HA! Life isn’t like that…. It comes with all types of twists, turns, mistakes, errors, happy, sad, and amazing moments.

I get compliments on how good I am with the girls and then there are days I feel like this horrible mom but I guess its just that inner crazy me talking. Being a mom is hard, dedicated work. Our kids depend on us, whether we work or stay home and it is a lot to carry and its scary because you trying to make sure you’re raising them the best way you know how. However, I am blessed with these two beautiful girls but this mommy gets tired and drained. I need God to strengthen me because this is one tough job. If you’re honest with yourself you get frustrated too:)

-Martina

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