It’s 2:30 “AM” and I can’t sleep and I have to be at church at 9:00 am so I decided to post on something that has been weighing in on my heart all night.
I feel like I’ve been so distant from God. Not that I want to be but it just seems like I’ve had something holding me back from being where and who he wants me to be. Ever been there?
Accepting Jesus as my Savior and living this life as a Christian is not easy but I want to do it. He died for me so I can live and be forgiven for past, present, and future sins.
I started to get down tonight for a split second and I realized that I am a Friend of God. No matter when I feel alone or I feel like no one is there, HE IS! He is my Friend and He is an Omnipresent God meaning he is always there. Everywhere I am, he is right there. He is there with me even when I feel like I’m so far away from him.
I don’t like to make Resolutions or should I say promises I can’t keep but I have a couple of things I want to do starting this week to get my relationship with God back on track. I just want more of him…. I want all that God has for me and I want to know him for who he is and not from what someone told me. So, I’ve decided to jot down a few things that would help me get to that point.
1.) Put me and the girls on an actual schedule
2.) Go to to the Bible book store and purchase a couple of good reads to help me grow spiritually (I have some awesome books but I need more because I want more of God)
3.) Wake up at 6:00 am to pray and meditate on God’s word and if I don’t wake up that early because I am definitely not a morning person. I will set time aside (at least an hour) to get my time in with God.
4.) Exercise
5.) Control my thoughts and not think so much on every little thing
6.) I will not allow fear to take over my mind
7.) Be a better wife & mother
I believe if I can do all of those things I will be on the right track. The older I get I realize that having Balance & Structure in the home plays a huge role in your spiritual walk with Christ. Have you ever realized that when things are out of whack at home or life in general, everything seems to be falling apart? Whether it be mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual…. And then when you have that structure in your life, everything seems to be OK? Even when its not ok 365 days out of the year, when you have that balance its easier to put things back in place. Well, that’s where I want to be…. This year I want all that God has for me and I plan on receiving every bit of it.
Have you ever been where I am? If so, what did you do to help you grow or to have that consistent time with him? What steps did you take?
-Martina
Perfectly Imperfekt Me, aka Maya D.
Good morning!
I must say I absolutely LOVE this post. I feel every bit of it. I wish I could tell you what I've done already, but I'm pretty much where you are, and we have the same plan-giving God more time on a daily basis (I'm starting really small, with 5 mins a day, and I will gradually move up from there (I may even go over, but starting small for me works best, I don't want to give myself any excuses along the way).
Martina, I like what you said about having balance and structure in the home-I feel terrible saying this but I rarely plan anything-I've always been sort of fly-by-night. Which gets stressful at times. I made a silent commitment to myself that I will plan for the rest of my life-I'm talking everything, from church attendance to vacations to family outings, to social events- instead of just saying, yeah sure, we'll be there (which is a famous line of mine that my husband hates, lol) I'm actually going to think things through. Not planning has been costly for me (in so many ways). Anyway, let me stop ranting before I write a book.
Thanks for the comment and follow-now following you 🙂
God's Blessings to you and your family
xoxo
Maya D
Unknown
He who has started a good work will bring it to completion, so He is always there for you. I love God's faithfulness to us. I really hope that you will know that you are walking with Him and not distanced from Him. Prayer has done so much for me, just talking to Him is one thing I love doing and just knowing He's listened to me cause I was sincere about everything I poured out. So pray that all these things you have planned for your family God will use for His glory and for you to gain that friendship that will not leave you feeling distanced but closer than ever.
onecurator.blogspot.com
Martina
Thanks for stopping by Maya D. I think starting off with 5 mins a day is a great idea. I think I may do that as well or maybe even do 5 mins every hour because I don't want to overwhelm myself. I also have to agree that I've been a fly by night person as well, sort of like going with the flow of every day life and I just want don't want to do that anymore. Glad we're following each other, maybe we can help each other a long the way every now and then. I love how you also said to plan ahead for everything. That's added to my list now:) Thanks for the follow and have a Blessed week.
Martina
To the "unknown" thanks for the follow and comment! Prayer is definitely the key:) God Bless You
mrs. tabb
martina! lovely post. you should get "that" book i talk about on my blog and read it with me!! it is really helpful. praying for you friend!!!
xoxo
We Are The Tabbs
Tasha
Good to see you have the desire to put God first. You seem to be on the right track. I'm not a morning person either so I can definitely relate.
Leah
oh yes, i've been there. but i agree with you, it's when things are not put together that it seems that way. when we take time to collect ourselves, it's those times when i feel His presence even more. you should try out she reads truth. it's a bible study where many women come together to go over different devotionals. the support and community is incredible.
it's an awesome attitude to have Martina. great way to begin your year.
Sarah
Hi Martina! I have been where you are spiritually. I still have those days. The thing that helped me is to acknowledge that God sees my struggle. HE understands it, and will help bring you out of it. I guess everyone's walk is different, so I don't want to pretend that I have all the answers, because I certainly don't!
Oh and thank you for the Liebster award!!! 🙂
mrs. tabb
wait, i left a comment here…did you get it?! 🙁 doesn't look like it! it was like long and heartfelt, too. well, it basically said that I'll be praying for you and that you should pick up that crazy book i've been talking about on my blog so we can read it together! LOL take care dear
xoxo
Martina
@ Lanesha- I really would like to do that! I told you I was going to make my list:-) Things have actually been going along pretty smoothly too….
@Tasha- The desire I have for God is definitely pushing into doing what's right by him…
@Leah- Thanks so much for referring me to shereadstruth! I joined and I absolutely LOVE it… Exactly what I need:)
@Sarah- Thanks for the advice & You're welcome:)I am definitely understanding his "Grace" throughout this whole process..
Martina
BTW- I don't know why I am unable to reply to you all separately, I think its the background or template I have but however my blog is in the process of being "made over" so please bare with me:) Lol
Love you ladies!!!!
Salt
SO been there. As much as I would love not to have these 'dry spells', I think they are just a part of our walk as Christians. BUT I have come to a place where, no matter how we feel, I KNOW God is still right there with us because he has promised to NEVER EVER leave us. When I feel that way and as I struggle to get back, I constantly tell myself: I may not feel you PapaGod, but I know you are here cos you are closer to me than my own skin (or words to that effect. What actual steps do I take? Like someone already said, I constantly talk to God (pray) about how I am feeling and ask him to help me through it. I tell him I know he is near even if I don't feel it and I ask for a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit….Plus no matter what I try to make sure I read my Bible especially when I don't feel like.
But you know Martina, God deals with each of us individually and uniquely and even though its great to learn from others, I am sure as you continue to just lean on him and listen to his voice he himself will tell you how to work your way through these times. OK, talked enough. I shall sign off now. Lol!
Nissey Mack
well said…and very good resolutions! Hope God gives you the strength to get them done 🙂
God BLESS!
aheartofworship12.blogspot.com
Martina
Salt, that was VERY encouraging! Thank you so much….
Martina
He has definitely been giving me the strength to get them done even though I have had a few set backs I think I've been doing good so far:)God Bless