Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter are the 4 seasons we go through each year. We can’t avoid it, we can’t change it, and we definitely can’t run away from it. So, that’s how I view life and that’s how I view marriage.
We get excited that we’ve met “the one” and we “get the ring” and then we “get married” and we “get the baby” but what about all the in-betweens?
Me and my husband went through a lot of things, and sometimes I didn’t realize it was just a bad season that we were in. I was quick to say “I am done”, “you don’t want me anyway so leave”, or “I know you can find someone else that’s better than me”. I’ve learned that words have power and I’m still learning to just be quiet sometimes. Ya’ll I have grown so much because my mouth was sharp (and still is) and I can honestly admit that!
Through those seasons, I’ve learned more about myself and my spouse. It hasn’t always been easy and sometimes I want to drop kick him in the neck lol… but marriage and the seasons I’ve experienced have taught me so much about patience, real love, and forgiveness. It’s a journey!!!! I don’t say that lightly. Every year of our marriage, there has been something that has caused us to experience turbulence in our relationship!
For Example:
Spring– I cried myself to sleep, wishing I never married him and wishing I never ruined my life getting married so young.
Summer– We had amazing sex for months and I thought he was the greatest man in the world and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
Fall– One of us is hit with a health situation or the kids have hurt themselves and require surgery. So, there’s a curve ball in our marriage that we don’t have control over but we’re making it work.
Winter– We’re super happy but then we have an argument that continues to spill over for months because we haven’t communicated, so now that small thing is a big mess that neither one of us are trying to address.
This isn’t just for women either… Men how will you handle a stressful season in your marriage? Will you sit in silence when she’s asking you to communicate with her? Will you ignore when she’s crying out for help? My mouth wasn’t always sharp just because I just wanted to say something to get on his nerves, but I just wanted him to hear me, communicate, and comfort me when I needed it the most. We as spouses need to learn how to be there for one another when we’re experiencing turbulence in our relationships.
Seasons come and go! They will make you or break you! How will you handle them? I’ll admit, I didn’t handle every season in the right way and even now I’m still learning, but marriage will definitely test your gangsta! HA!
Some seasons are worse than others and some may cause for divorce but sometimes going through those challenging seasons together will definitely make you shed a few tears or even think about Divorce but difficult seasons also birth amazing testimonies and a strength that you never thought you’d have.
Lastly, in those difficult seasons, I’ve learned that giving my husband space (even though I hate that sometimes) helps him gather his thoughts so he can open up to me. Btw- What is it with y’all not talking? Opening up or expressing your feelings? It’s like pulling teeth sometimes BUT that’s how some of you are and I understand you need your space to communicate freely. And men we aren’t nagging you but we just want to know you’re listening and that you’re comprehending what we’re saying. We just want to be heard!!
Successful Marriages have had difficult seasons but the reason they are successful is because they took the time to fight for it and work out the situation the best way they knew how and if you’re in a difficult season, remember trouble doesn’t last always and things will get better, if you put in the work to overcome that challenging season you’re in!
Until next time,
Martina