First let me tell ya, I’ve missed YOU! It’s been a little over a week since my last post and that is because I’ve been down in the dumps and I didn’t want to bring any negative attention to my blog. Lol.. Life has definitely been kicking my butt this past week. However, Slowly but surely I am getting it together.
Now to my post:-)
I am a woman who at 20 years of age quit her job as an Administrative Assistant at a Law Firm. Got married eloped to my college boyfriend after only 7 months of dating. Yep, 7 months…. AND this same woman found out she was pregnant 2 months after marrying her college sweetheart.
Things couldn’t have happened any faster….. Now throughout my 9 months of pregnancy and being a newlywed we struggled but we struggled together. We argued but we overcame. I was living 2 hours outside of Atlanta in the country away from my family so they would come and get me sometimes due to the fact that I had absolutely positively no friends where I was and I sat in the house pretty much depressed because the life I thought I was going to have, didn’t end up that way. Me and my husband come from 2 totally different backgrounds.
He saw things that none of us could possibly imagine seeing as a child, and he accepted Christ at 16 in his bedroom watching television, which makes his testimony even more amazing.
I am the oldest sibling (I have 1 brother and a half sister that I hardly know), I’m a product of a divorced family (they got divorced when I was 3 and my brother was an infant) and I grew up with just my mom. I’ve always been good in school and I grew up in church “literally”… Lol… We were always there, my grandfather was the Pastor and my was an Evangelist (who is now the pastor).
WELL, with my father being absent from the home and feeling neglected in the home due to a busy single mom (even though I know she was doing the best she could) and a little brother who was very much a troubled child I began suffering from low self esteem throughout my life and at 16, I started having premarital sex. Trying to find love in the wrong places. Let me just say that was definitely the wrong route. I had about 3 bad relationships and just continued to deal with depression, suicidal thoughts, and every bad thought that would come to my mind I would entertain it.
As time passed I got really serious about my relationship with God and even though it was hard and I would still fall into sin, I would still overcome all of things that the devil would throw at me and I could slowly see the light at the end of the tunnel. Throughout this transition I decided that going to a Christian college was the best route for me and that’s where I met my husband. He led worship in chapel on Tuesdays, he was a really good Christian guy who loved God for real! lol… But we didn’t click…. The first semester I was there we couldn’t stand each other. He thought I was stuck up and “ghetto” and I thought he was stuck up and too “deep” to be around but my 2nd semester at the school something happened. God happened. Lol…. We went out one night on a “hayride” and the rest is history.
I felt like he was ‘THE GUY”…. But there was only one thing, we moved entirely too fast. At the moment, you don’t realize you’re moving too fast because you’re so in love… lol… anywhoo, so we’re married now and I’m pregnant barely making it. We have Madison and things are good. Still struggling but we are happy. He graduates from college and a few months later we move back to Atlanta. I eventually went back to school to take up a trade and I got hired at a Podiatry Office as a Administrative Assistant to the entire Billing Department (Aint God good) 2 years go by and we’re in our 3rd year of marriage and all hell breaks loose. We were headed for divorce and things were horrible (that’s when I started my blog). To make a very long story short by the Grace of God we reconciled and 3 months later I found out I was pregnant with Mallorie, my husband got hired as a Probation Officer, and due to us having only one car I had to quit my job again. HA!
I can honestly say that these last 1 1/2 years has been one of the best years of our marriage and that’s why only after 5 years of marriage we decided to renew our vows. I LOVE my hunny bunny aka “the hubbs”!
I said all of that to say this…. I am 26 years old and I have worried about my husband finishing school, supporting him with his music, trying to keep my home a happy home, taking care of the kids and last but not least. I’ve worried, helped, and supported everyone else’s dream but mine. I got to the point where I’m asking God what about me? I’ve lost track of who God has called me to be or what he even wants me to do. I’ve had so many dreams and things I wanted to do but in the last 6 yearsLIFE has definitely taken over.
I know that I can still do it but I’m to the point where I am numb. I feel like every time I get a new job or something good happens to me I have to give it up. I’m always the one who sacrifices everything and its ok sometimes but I’m almost 30 and I want to get some things accomplished.
If I could change the past I would’ve dated longer, waited to get married, and waited on the children but I can not change the past and its OK;-) I’ve definitely embraced where I’ve gone in life and the testimony God has given me. I want to reach lots of women old and young with my story because I have a story and one day God is going to give me the strength and the will power to tell it but our timing is not his so I’m waiting on his release. I know that God is going to do something Great for me this year. I feel it…. But I have to shake this heaven burden off and move on.
BTW- If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am NOT a blogger who just writes about the “good” stuff. I like to be real. I want my readers to know that they’re not alone and that we as women can share our feelings and not be judged. Now I’m not saying to tell all of your business because I wouldn’t dare do it myself. However, we overcome by the word of our testimony and hopefully we can help each other through our experiences and through prayer.
Lastly, Tonight a Pastor from Pennsylvania came to visit me and my husband because he wants my husband and I to move to Pennsylvania so my husband can become his Worship Pastor. When I tell you I am so confused and I REALLY need to hear God’s voice on this one. This seems like an awesome opportunity and I’m trying not to be selfish but what is a girl to do? lol….. Pray for me as I go through yet another transition!
P.S. I know I may have rambled a bit so please forgive me:-)
Wow, girl I don't mind a little rambling when it's a good read! Actually your entire piece was coherent :0 I think every living person has dreams deferred and, seasons of discouragement, and times when we wonder what does it all mean? I'm 30 years old, mother of 1, and still long to be a married woman. I'm in such a season of learning to trust and one (of the many) things I'm being sanctified from is living in Fear. Well I will definitely pray for you and your family. I will pray that the Lord MAKE IT PLAIN what he wants you and your husband to do because He is the God of all Wisdom and he Knows what will bring Him glory. He works for the good. Be brave and courageous my friend and acknowledge Him in all your ways, He will make y'alls pathways straight 🙂
Martina, there was s time way back when I felt my life was passing me by. I was a Personal Assistant at a time when my school mates were Managers in banks, driving their own cars and going on trips abroad. I was depressed and had a well covered up inferiority complex. Fast forward many years, I am in a place I could never have imagined. I still have far to go but when I look back at all I thought were delays and denials all sort of make sense now. True, I did not feel good back then but I am happy I always went back to God (cos true sometimes I just gave up on him even though I still went through all the motions). He taught me to be happy 'in my own lane' little by little. I join with Patrice to pray peace over you and The Hubbs as you both let God lead you on the next leg of your God ordained journey.
Regardless of the wrong paths we have chosen, God assures us that even if we veered off the road, if we come back to him, he is able to make it all work out for our good. Somebody is coming behind you who is going to be blessed by your story and journey.
Hey Martina!!! I've been trying to figure out the name of your blog for the longest time, and what-do-ya-know, I found it! Anyhoo, I really enjoyed reading this. Our testimonies are somewhat similar (in the respect of life happening FAST). I had my baby when I was 15 years old, it was a very complex situation to say the least. I was ridiculed for it when people didn't even know my story– I married my husband at the age of 25 and I happen to be an administrative assistant over the Advanced Simulation and Visual Software Division (Engineering Dept.) I'm currently in a place where I want more for myself. I feel that I can do better than "being Admin" I want to be something MORE than the help. I feel like that was cool when I was 20, but not for a 31 year old (this is my thinking sometimes, especially on the days where people pluck my nerves) I at times feel confused as to what gods plan for my life is– I know that he wants me in ministry, but I often times wonder how, and even why. I think its natural for us to feel this way from time to time. I guess the only thing we can really do is pray and seek GOD in our circumstances.
I can imagine how you must feel, sacrifice can be difficult–especially when it seems like you're always the one that has to do the sacrificing. I'll be on my knees praying for you and your family. I'm happy that you and your hubby are able to make it through the tough times together… that speaks volumes-things will only go up from here.
I don't have a lot of time to comment, but I found you through Shaina's nomination of you for the Liebster, and I love this post. So real and heartfelt. I'll be praying that the Lord would prepare your heart for where He plans to take you. Blessings to you as you put your trust in God!!! His timing is perfect, as are his plans 🙂
Hey Martina! I think we all can relate to something in your story! My husband and I dated for 3 months before getting married…IKR! We had our first born 9 months later and separated during our second year of marriage, but reconciled. 24 years and three kids later…PRAISE God we're still here! I can say it was all worth it, because of what we have now! I tell women all the time that God gives us seasons for a reason. Your time will come, how do I know? Because it's His plan that it does. Jeremiah 29:11. Even though it may seem like you're being left behind…you're not!! Until then, ENJOY each season and glean all the wisdom you can from them, because they're preparing you for what's ahead! Much love to you sis…have a blessed weekend! 😉
"Regardless of the wrong paths we have chosen, God assures us that even if we veered off the road, if we come back to him, he is able to make it all work out for our good. Somebody is coming behind you who is going to be blessed by your story and journey."
This statement that you gave was very true! I have been saying this to myself for the longest…. Believing and having the faith that he will make my path straight. Thanks so much!
Hi Martina! I'm visiting you by way of the GA bloggers site. I'm new to blogging and I'm from Macon. First off, not sure what your blog looked like before but Rekita did an awesome job! It's beautiful now & so are the girls:) You have an amazing testimony indeed. Thanks for sharing your story. Be encouraged to follow your dreams young lady! You have your entire life ahead. My prayers and blessings to you and your family in making the decision to move or stay. Glad to find you, now following. Have a blessed week.
I think we have ALL been there. Sounds like y'all have been through some rough patches, but made it through on the other side much stronger than before! Be prayerful about your decision and I wish the best for your family. All marriages have hard times, people are lying if they say they've never had a hard time. They aren't loving hard enough if they haven't 🙂 Thanks for being honest, it is the best type of blogging!
I'm not saying I tell all of my business (lol) but this blogging world can be so fake sometimes and that's just not who I am. I want my readers to feel like they can relate some way or another….
Thanks for the encouragement Whitney! God has truly been amazing and I am doing the best to be the best child to him!
Hey Martina, I read through the previous comments and wanted to give you just some words of encouragement from the wife of a Minister of Music. As everyone said, we can relate to a certain aspect of your story. When I was in school, my now husband and I were dating but we were in two different states. I packed up and moved to be closer to him. He soon left our home church to work for another church and had a few more churches aproach him until… where he is now. It is such a blessing to our household. I remember him being scared. It was definitely a promotion and it probably stressed him out more then he has told me. But although I was even skeptical, I supported his decision and it sealed the deal that after we prayed about it that the Pastor met with both of us before offering my husband a great contract. I am not sure if you are still considering the offer. But my advice would be pray. You never know what doors God is trying to get you to go through to bless you. My husband was moved from Atlanta by our home pastor. I would've never met him had he not moved. I also say, write the good the bad and all in between because its the story that no one talks about. So much so that when it happens to hit home, people feel like they are the only ones and it certainly is not so. Great post.
I am glad so please stand on what you already believe. Thanks again for the Leibster award. I must confess though that I am not the best at keeping to the rules of the game……but I promise, I shall try to do all the award requires….eventually. Lol!
Hi Martina…Im stopping by from "quite the blog" link up! I agree with some of the other comments, we have all been there even if it hasnt been in the same capacity! God is clearly using you by your story to minister to others. I know the move will be a big one but if its what God has for you and your husband it will be easier than you think and everything will be laid out for you! I say keep praying and seeking God and you both will get answers! And please keep writing because you have a gift…and you never know who you may touch by just being real and writing whats in your heart!
Wow!! Thanks so much Jasmine for the encouragement!
We have definitely been praying about it because we want to be in his will and not just doing something because its a nice opportunity. When we are not in his will things just don't go right:-)
Thanks for sharing your experience with me as well.
Patrice
Wow, girl I don't mind a little rambling when it's a good read! Actually your entire piece was coherent :0
I think every living person has dreams deferred and, seasons of discouragement, and times when we wonder what does it all mean? I'm 30 years old, mother of 1, and still long to be a married woman. I'm in such a season of learning to trust and one (of the many) things I'm being sanctified from is living in Fear. Well I will definitely pray for you and your family. I will pray that the Lord MAKE IT PLAIN what he wants you and your husband to do because He is the God of all Wisdom and he Knows what will bring Him glory. He works for the good. Be brave and courageous my friend and acknowledge Him in all your ways, He will make y'alls pathways straight 🙂
Martina
Thanks SOOO much for the Prayers Patrice:-) AND I really appreciate the encouragement….
Salt
Martina, there was s time way back when I felt my life was passing me by. I was a Personal Assistant at a time when my school mates were Managers in banks, driving their own cars and going on trips abroad. I was depressed and had a well covered up inferiority complex. Fast forward many years, I am in a place I could never have imagined. I still have far to go but when I look back at all I thought were delays and denials all sort of make sense now. True, I did not feel good back then but I am happy I always went back to God (cos true sometimes I just gave up on him even though I still went through all the motions). He taught me to be happy 'in my own lane' little by little. I join with Patrice to pray peace over you and The Hubbs as you both let God lead you on the next leg of your God ordained journey.
Regardless of the wrong paths we have chosen, God assures us that even if we veered off the road, if we come back to him, he is able to make it all work out for our good. Somebody is coming behind you who is going to be blessed by your story and journey.
Perfectly Imperfekt Me, aka Maya D.
Hey Martina!!! I've been trying to figure out the name of your blog for the longest time, and what-do-ya-know, I found it! Anyhoo, I really enjoyed reading this. Our testimonies are somewhat similar (in the respect of life happening FAST). I had my baby when I was 15 years old, it was a very complex situation to say the least. I was ridiculed for it when people didn't even know my story– I married my husband at the age of 25 and I happen to be an administrative assistant over the Advanced Simulation and Visual Software Division (Engineering Dept.) I'm currently in a place where I want more for myself. I feel that I can do better than "being Admin" I want to be something MORE than the help. I feel like that was cool when I was 20, but not for a 31 year old (this is my thinking sometimes, especially on the days where people pluck my nerves) I at times feel confused as to what gods plan for my life is– I know that he wants me in ministry, but I often times wonder how, and even why. I think its natural for us to feel this way from time to time. I guess the only thing we can really do is pray and seek GOD in our circumstances.
I can imagine how you must feel, sacrifice can be difficult–especially when it seems like you're always the one that has to do the sacrificing. I'll be on my knees praying for you and your family. I'm happy that you and your hubby are able to make it through the tough times together… that speaks volumes-things will only go up from here.
xoxo
Maya D
http://www.perfectlyimperfektme.blogspot.com
April
I don't have a lot of time to comment, but I found you through Shaina's nomination of you for the Liebster, and I love this post. So real and heartfelt. I'll be praying that the Lord would prepare your heart for where He plans to take you. Blessings to you as you put your trust in God!!! His timing is perfect, as are his plans 🙂
April 🙂
Michell Pulliam
Hey Martina! I think we all can relate to something in your story! My husband and I dated for 3 months before getting married…IKR! We had our first born 9 months later and separated during our second year of marriage, but reconciled. 24 years and three kids later…PRAISE God we're still here! I can say it was all worth it, because of what we have now! I tell women all the time that God gives us seasons for a reason. Your time will come, how do I know? Because it's His plan that it does. Jeremiah 29:11. Even though it may seem like you're being left behind…you're not!! Until then, ENJOY each season and glean all the wisdom you can from them, because they're preparing you for what's ahead! Much love to you sis…have a blessed weekend! 😉
Michell @Prowess and Pearls
Martina
Salt,
"Regardless of the wrong paths we have chosen, God assures us that even if we veered off the road, if we come back to him, he is able to make it all work out for our good. Somebody is coming behind you who is going to be blessed by your story and journey."
This statement that you gave was very true! I have been saying this to myself for the longest…. Believing and having the faith that he will make my path straight. Thanks so much!
Martina
Maya,
I feel like we are always relating to each other! I'm reaching out to give you a hug right now:-) I will be keeping you in my prayers as well.
~Love you Sis~
Martina
Hey April!!
I appreciate your prayers and Thanks so much for the Follow….
~Many Blessings~
Martina
Wow- We definitely can relate…. I love how you stated "That God gives us seasons for reasons"… I love that! Thanks for the encouragement!
~ Have an Awesome Week~
Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady
Hi Martina! I'm visiting you by way of the GA bloggers site. I'm new to blogging and I'm from Macon. First off, not sure what your blog looked like before but Rekita did an awesome job! It's beautiful now & so are the girls:) You have an amazing testimony indeed. Thanks for sharing your story. Be encouraged to follow your dreams young lady! You have your entire life ahead. My prayers and blessings to you and your family in making the decision to move or stay. Glad to find you, now following. Have a blessed week.
Whitney B.
I think we have ALL been there. Sounds like y'all have been through some rough patches, but made it through on the other side much stronger than before! Be prayerful about your decision and I wish the best for your family.
All marriages have hard times, people are lying if they say they've never had a hard time. They aren't loving hard enough if they haven't 🙂 Thanks for being honest, it is the best type of blogging!
Martina
Hey Joi!!!
Another "Georgia" girl:-) Glad you stopped by and Thanks so much for the uplift!
Have a wonderful week!
Martina
Yes, Whitney…. The best type!
I'm not saying I tell all of my business (lol) but this blogging world can be so fake sometimes and that's just not who I am. I want my readers to feel like they can relate some way or another….
Thanks for the encouragement Whitney! God has truly been amazing and I am doing the best to be the best child to him!
Love you my Sister:-)
~Blessings~
Jasmine HellogmSunshine
Hey Martina,
I read through the previous comments and wanted to give you just some words of encouragement from the wife of a Minister of Music. As everyone said, we can relate to a certain aspect of your story. When I was in school, my now husband and I were dating but we were in two different states. I packed up and moved to be closer to him. He soon left our home church to work for another church and had a few more churches aproach him until… where he is now. It is such a blessing to our household. I remember him being scared. It was definitely a promotion and it probably stressed him out more then he has told me. But although I was even skeptical, I supported his decision and it sealed the deal that after we prayed about it that the Pastor met with both of us before offering my husband a great contract.
I am not sure if you are still considering the offer. But my advice would be pray. You never know what doors God is trying to get you to go through to bless you.
My husband was moved from Atlanta by our home pastor. I would've never met him had he not moved.
I also say, write the good the bad and all in between because its the story that no one talks about. So much so that when it happens to hit home, people feel like they are the only ones and it certainly is not so.
Great post.
Salt
I am glad so please stand on what you already believe. Thanks again for the Leibster award. I must confess though that I am not the best at keeping to the rules of the game……but I promise, I shall try to do all the award requires….eventually. Lol!
Carissa
Hi Martina…Im stopping by from "quite the blog" link up! I agree with some of the other comments, we have all been there even if it hasnt been in the same capacity! God is clearly using you by your story to minister to others. I know the move will be a big one but if its what God has for you and your husband it will be easier than you think and everything will be laid out for you! I say keep praying and seeking God and you both will get answers! And please keep writing because you have a gift…and you never know who you may touch by just being real and writing whats in your heart!
Martina
Lol- Its ok Salt! Can't wait to see it 🙂
Martina
Wow!! Thanks so much Jasmine for the encouragement!
We have definitely been praying about it because we want to be in his will and not just doing something because its a nice opportunity. When we are not in his will things just don't go right:-)
Thanks for sharing your experience with me as well.
~Many Blessings to you and yours~
Martina
Thanks so much Carissa for the encouragement & Thanks for following!