Being a mommy is not an easy job but I do love it. I just want to make it clear, that I love my girls more than life itself. When I get up in the morning I am constantly on the move, from Madi to the baby to the baby from Mallorie and its all VERY overwhelming. Today and yesterday was one of those days. I kept hearing my name (mommy) being called and Mallorie has been a little cranky lately because she had a cold and is still going through the motions with that and she’s teething. Sometimes I get so very overwhelmed and it hard to deal but I deal…. Most times my days don’t end how they started but today has been a long day and I’m going to bed drained and exhausted. My goal is to try and get me and the girls on a schedule so they can go to bed at a decent time and so I can have quality time with myself and my husband.

I don’t enjoy my kids sleeping with me. Madison sleeps wild and Mallorie is ok but I would like my bed to myself for me and my husband. Mallorie was in her bassinet but now she decided that’s not where she wants to sleep so she sleeps with us. The good thing about her sleeping with us is that if she wakes up in the middle of the night I can just nurse her. However, last night was the first night in a long time Mallorie slept in her bassinet all night. Me and the hubby were able to cuddle until we fell asleep.

One Day I would love to just wake up without thinking about anyone but myself

One Day I would like to go out without having to rush home because the baby won’t stop crying or because she won’t take a bottle

One Day I would like to not worry about cooking a dinner

One Day I would like to not feel bad because I didn’t cook that dinner

One Day I would like to take a shower without rushing because the baby is hungry, crying, or sleepy

One Day I would like to sleep without having to keep getting up because Madison is afraid to sleep in her own bed

One Day I would like to be able to put the baby down without her crying just because she wants me to pick her up

One Day I would like to accomplish things around the house that I’ve planned on doing for that day

One Day I would like to feel appreciated for all I do

Yeah, Just One Day…..

It is 7:27 pm and the girls are asleep….. I am sitting in my room with the light off and the girls are sound asleep next to me… They’ve actually been sleep for quite a while and I don’t plan on waking them up:-/ I know when hubbs comes home hes going to be upset but I just wanted a break to just be on the internet, read blogs, BLOG,  etc. without being interrupted. I didn’t take the chance to do house work which I know needs to be done, I got a mommy break and I don’t feel bad about it. I’m enjoying looking at their sweet little faces while they sleep while praying they don’t wake up…. hahahaha….. The crazy part about this whole thing is that it’s all most 8:00 and I know for a fact I’m going to regret this later:-)

Tootles

I am beyond upset with myself for getting toooo lazy to pump and make her take a bottle every now and then. She will NOT take it and will refuse for as long as she can and I hate to see her upset and crying her little heart out that I’ll give in and give her the boobs! It’s all very frustrating and I would like to start weaning her now so by the time she’s six months she’ll be formula and breastfeed but I already see I have a long road ahead of me. To be honest I use to love pumping and seeing all of the milk that came out of me but staying home with the girls got me really lazy as far as pumping so when she got hungry I would just pull out a boob. I love being able to just feed her without having to run in the kitchen and make a bottle. BUT there are consequences with doing that…. I’m unable to leave her alone with anyone for long periods of time, we hardly ever go on a date night without her, the hubby (poor thing) can’t even put her to sleep because she wants to fall asleep on my boob. It’s all becoming too much and I would like to give up breastfeeding all together. I don’t want to seem like a quitter but I’m very overwhelmed. I’m praying that baby girl will take a bottle soon so mommy can get a little help because the hubbs told me last night that this whole thing is my fault and that’s why he can’t help with her. And he’s absolutely right!

Tootles

I have a lot to write about today more so because I have the time and I have to catch up on things I’ve been wanting to blog about. You may see two more blogs after this one due to the fact that I’m unable to post like I would like. However- here we go…. My Mom had dental surgery and ever since I knew she was going to have major surgery in her mouth I knew I would go and care for her, especially since I stay home with the girls, it wasn’t a problem b/c I have the time and I’m able to do it. Well, try taking care of your mom with a toddler and a very new infant around. hahahaha… I thought it would be easy b/c we were at my grandparents house and my grandmother was there and she had the baby, let’s just say the baby didnt want to cooperate because she’s so use to mommy and always wants mommy due to me nursing her all the time. They have a huge house with a ton of stairs so I was running up and down the steps taking care of my mom and the babies which was fine until Madison wanted one thing after the other then the baby wouldn’t stay in her bouncer for more than 5 mins. I would put the baby to sleep and Madison would come by and wake her up some how (like she always does! UGH) and I would have to start all over again with Mallorie. Then Madison was talking extremely loud. Everyone such as my mom, myself, and my grandparents couldn’t handle the noise  I  mean she is LOUD sometimes! I immediately started getting a migraine and everything she and Mallorie would do I would get more aggravated. I had to cut of Mallorie’s onesie because she “went” and when I say it got everywhere, it got Everywhere! To make a long story short and stop all of my ramblings by the end of the night the ate and Madison fell out on the floor and went to sleep. I didn’t bother her, normally I would move her so she could be comfortable or so I wouldn’t have to step over here but she did so much that day, I had to discipline her more than I wanted to, and she wouldn’t listen to anything anyone was telling her…. I left her there until it was time to go. Mallorie eventually fell asleep in her car seat, never really happens unless we’re in the car but it happened and I didn’t bother her either. I left with a headache and prayed to God when I got home and begged asked him if I could get a good night’s sleep. Needless to say, my prayer was answered! I am so terribly sorry for my ramblings but it was hectic. All of this happened Wed and Thurs. Wed was Extreme and Thursday wasn’t so bad but it wasn’t that great of a day either. I wanted to blog about it as soon as I got home but I was so exhausted and emotional I couldn’t do it. I just wanted to sleep….

I finally have a chance to write in my blog:-) It’s so hard to blog especially with Madison and Mallorie…. So, I try to do the best that I can! However, Madison sometimes drives me to the edge. This almost 4 year old little girl is off the chain. Why didn’t anyone tell me about the Terrible 3’s? She is starting to tell me no, she says the most outrageous things, if you heard my child talk you would think she was a bit older (people that meet us for the first time usually think she is older) and that she was in school. She’s a very bright little girl but her energy level is through the roof and I have to repeat myself more than I want to. I love my baby with everything in me but she drives me insane sometimes! If some of you would be honest I think at some point in time your child probably does too… Lol….. She’ll even do something I told her not to do and look at me and smile, just to see if she can get away with it. Kids will drive you up the wall sometime, I don’t mind it because they are kids and that’s what they do. I mean I was once a child but I wasn’t as active as Madison is. Sometimes I do let things slide because I know she is a child but the older she gets I have to discipline and explain to her this is not right and things she can and can not do because I don’t want her acting a certain way around people. She’ll be starting Pre-K in August so I want her to be well behaved. However, Madison has been a little rowdy recently and I hope she starts to calm down soon because I can only take so much:-)

Breastfeeding has been going extremely well this go round with Baby #2… The only complaint I have is that she eats A LOT, She’s always hungry and I find myself popping out my boobs more than I would like… However, Everything is going very well and I am Thankful for that b/c I wasn’t able to exclusively breastfeed Madison as I hoped and I was in a lot of pain due to the sore nipples. I gave it up after 3 months. So, I nursed in public on Saturday night when we took Madison to Chuckie Cheese. I came back from playing with Maddie and the hubby was like “homegirl is hungry what are you going to do?” I brought some similac someone had given me b/c I didn’t have enough to pump. I knew it would be hard to give her similac because she is an exclusively breastfeed baby and like I expected she spit it out and wouldn’t take it…. So, I was like forget it! I’m not going to let my child suffer b/c I’m afraid someone is going to call the cops on me b/c I popped my boob out to feed my baby  so I got my nursing cover and fed her. I got a few stares but who cares it didn’t take long and mommy & baby were happy! I’m not going to lie, I was afraid to do it… I heard it was against the law, etc. I think I might start doing it more often instead of frustrating myself trying to find somewhere to feed her and all that jazz. She hates doesn’t like a bottle so a girls got to do what a girls got to do. My goal is to stop exclusively nursing her at 6 months but I think my little fat mama has some other plans.

The hubby asked me that today…. I couldn’t even get mad because I have a tendency of yelling when I get irritated with him and the kids. I feel like if I have to repeat myself over and over again, maybe if I yell they will hear me.

The hubby told me tonight that he doesn’t want this family to yell anymore, especially the 2 of us…. He doesn’t want our girls seeing us yelling at each other, and I have to agree with him. It’s not something I want them to see or do in there later years. By the way my daughter (Maddie) has a tendency of talking loud as well. Majority of my family on my mom’s side talk REALLY loud but most of the time we don’t even realize it and it has happened to fall on my Maddie. She is a loud girl and when she cries its the worse its loud too!

I love my hubbs…. He made a lot of sense tonight, we are total opposites and we balance each other out! I’m working on not talking loud and especially talking loud in front of the girls…. Hey, we all have to start somewhere so tomorrow is a new day and maybe I could bring it down a notch:-)

Tootles