The other day I was sitting here thinking to myself about how when I use to go through things my first instinct was to pick up the phone and call a friend (most of the time) instead of take it to my father “Jesus”……

Since I was a teenager that’s what I did until recently God showed me in the most dramatic way that I must lean on him or nothing will work in my life. He put me in a place where I was stuck; I would lean on ppl trying to get my answer on what to do with certain situations and nothing would ever work.

The reason I’m writing this is b/c we must realize who we can and can not talk too…. There are some ppl who have the love of God and who really want to help you get through certain situations and then there are some ppl who just want to be nosy. I’m going to be real when I say this and most of the ppl that were in my business didn’t want to help me they just wanted to be nosy.

You have to be able to discern who is for you and who’s not….. God showed me in the worse way possible but he had to do it! I loved God etc. but I was so insecure in myself and not strong enough spiritually to understand that I just needed to be patient and pray!

Being prayerful through ANY situaiton is the most vital thing you can do as a believer. Prayer really does change things…. You have to be consistent and believe that God will do what you ask but he’s going to do in his timing and he will work on your behalf.

Pray and take your problems to Jesus and don’t give the enemy room by telling your business to nosy ppl….. As believers we have to learn how to take control over our own life and stop letting ppl dictate our future. I learned my lesson as to who I should give my problems too, even though I already knew that he was the first one I should go to my flesh always wanted to hear it from someone else.

I was going through something and through all of what I was going through I finally gave it to Jesus because Man was leading me a stray and my flesh was tired so I gave it to Jesus and he spoke to me as clear as day. From then on I changed who I talked too and now before I decide to even call someone to vent ( by the way it’s ok to have a trustworthy person to vent too b/c we all need that) I take it to Jesus and by the time I do get ready to call a friend God already worked it out.

I hate I had to go through that experience but God had to show me he was in charge and he did just that!

I realized that there are times when you have to separate yourself from family, friends, and even some peers who may not seem to care about your feelings but who always put you down no matter what is going on and if it affects you as a person then you have to be mature about the situation and say enough is enough and do it in a mature way and remove yourself from ppl who consistently have something to say to you. Today was the last day that I will allow them to say comments about me. Well, they can talk but I told myself I will just separate myself when they come around. It can be 15 of us sitting around and guess who there main target is……………………………….ME………………………………and I’m so sick of it! Some may say that I’m acting like this b/c I’m pregnant and that may be true to a certain extinct but for the most part I have been fed up with this for years but it seems like I always find myself around them and they’re at it again. Its so petty but it bothers me. I’m always their target and enough is enough. I know sometimes they are joking but its every 5 minutes when I’m around them and a person can only take so much. When other ppl are around I’ll ask “Am I the only person you see right here?” I ask that b/c everyone else is ignored and I am always picked on. Sometimes I may have a blonde moment (LOL) but I mean alot of them have it and nobody says anything, I could say somethings back to them that would really hurt (I feel myself getting to that point, that’s why I have separate myself) but I won’t allow myself to stoop to their level. If you’re in a situation where you feel like someone is affecting your self-esteem, you don’t feel appreciated, or you find yourself aggravated every time you’re around them. Find the courage and strength to separate yourself and no your self worth and don’t allow anyone to talk down to you and make you feel less than what you are. One thing I found out, is that when ppl see other ppl do it to you (especially your family) they will (outsiders) will feel that is ok and that’s not right. You must stand your ground and let ppl know that you’re human just like they are and you have feelings like everyone else and if they can’t respect that, then you know what you have to do. I love my family but I’m human and I’m fed up. Anyway, I’m tired of going on about this nonsense but that’s how I felt today so until next time! Peace

                                                                              
My favorite show ended yesterday and I was a little disappointed with the ending and then I thought about it. I understood why they did it, they wanted to leave us wanting more. People kept asking well how did Derwin know that Melanie had an abortion but if you play really close attention to the way she answered it then you would understand why he asked. With every other question she said no but with that question she said no, definitely no, and since they’re married and have been together for so long he knew she was lying. Also, who’s to say she actually had one. However, Malik is CRAZY to feel like all the things he’s done wouldn’t come back to him. Yes, he went to rehab and got his self straight but that doesn’t excuse what he did in his past and how he treated people. Some people SOMETIMES I guess skip the karma thing but most us reap what we sow and for Malik to get upset at Derwin for trying to help him out to keep his job was so wrong. Like Derwin said you slept with the bosses wife, what did you expect to happen?? I like the fact that Malik was turning himself around but sometimes things come back to haunt us and its not fair but that’s just life. Also, If I were Derwin and Melanie I would’ve fired Tasha too…. They were right Tasha loves her boy ( what mother wouldn’t) and knowing her she would’ve focused all her energy on him and left Derwin hanging. Overall, I felt like it was a good ending to the show but I wish it was longer!

OMG-oodness!!!! It has been such a long time and yes 1 whole entire year but I’m back and ready to blog my little heart out. So much has been going on…. Good:-) AND Bad:-(….. BUT what I’ve been through is all apart of this little thing we call life; I’m learning to embrace this thing called life b/c you live and you learn and its a growing process. When I was a child I couldn’t wait to be an adult… Now that I’m an adult I’m like Lord can I start over and try this thing ALL over again! But no he’s allowed me to accept alot of things and embrace them and realized that this is what life is about and its not going to be perfect. Anywho, I am excited about life, my new laptop, and blogging. As some of you read my blog, you may not agree or understand me but one thing you should know about me is that…….{{{I’m a Realist}}} SO, Welcome to the thoughts of tina!

MaRtInA

As I watched a video & viewed several pictures of the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti, tears started to form in my eyes; I started to get very emotional.

The thought of knowing that children, women, and men have died a horrific death from this natural disaster makes me sad. Children were found dead next to schools, women & men found dead, inmates have escaped; its all just devastating. I wish there was something I could do, but all I can do is pray.   I wish I had the funds to get them medical help & supplies, clothes, food, whatever it is that they need. I think that’s why I’m so sad. The fact that all of this happened and there’s not much (financially) I can do about it. Let’s pray for Haiti and those who have family there!

 God Bless

Here’s a way to donate: You can use your cell phone to text “Yele” to 501501, which will automatically donate $5 to the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund (it will be charged to your cell phone bill)

I believe that God takes us through things to make us into what he wants us to be. Some things took place that sort of pushed me into going back to school and I’m glad that I went back. For a while, I was fearful about going back to school because I felt like I wouldn’t know how to balance being a mother, wife, & focus on school work. I know people do it everyday but I haven’t always been the type to balance a lot of things at once. Lol… However- that’s why I love God’s word because in his word he states that through him I CAN do ALL things. He’s allowed me to believe in myself and focus on what plans he has for me. I prayed to God once and I told him that I no longer wanted to do what Martina wanted to do but what he wanted Me to do. Sometimes we can get so carried away with our lives that we forget to ask God what he wants for us. All I want is to please him and live my life according to his plans. And no I’m NOT perfect but I try to do right everyday. As of right now, I’m excelling in school, better than I thought I would, and I give God all the praise for that. I believe the year of 2010 is going to be a year of prosperity & accomplishment for me and my family because we’ve been through so much but God has sustained us; and I believe he’s going to reward us this year for our faithfulness and devotion toward him. The year of 08 – 09 were the worse years for me and my husband, all I’ll say right now is that we’ll NEVER get taken advantage of in church again & some other things happened in those 2 years but I think that was the worse thing since we’ve been married. Anyway- I believe that we had to go through some things to mature as young people in ministry, so I’m thankful for the trials because they’ve made me into a better person and I grew because of that. I really believe that for the past 2 years we were in a dry season but God is going to do great things in our lives in 2010. This is MY year and I’m going to receive everything God has for me…..